Phone Sex Joan

Toll Free Phone Sex!

2011-10-27T12:31:00.000-07:00

House of Phone Sex now provides a toll free line for our horny callers - no more questions, just hot sex over the phone!

Check out the 30 minute special, $39.95, no hidden fees - talk on!

Movie Night at House of Phone Sex

2011-09-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

Yes, now you can watch funny fuck bunny movies at HouseOfPhoneSex.com

We've added a MOVIE page just for extra fun!

Fun with Fuck Bunny

2011-09-25T10:16:00.001-07:00

I'm having way too much fun putting these funny adult themed still clip movies together. Choosing which photos to use, timing the changes and matching music to accompany the short is really entertaining.

The latest is Pepe Rabbit Gets a Blow Job and stars the usual suspects, our own Alicia and dirty old Pepe himself.

Funny Porn - getting a great response!

2011-09-18T19:10:00.000-07:00

WOW! I put up this funny mock porn video just for laughs - and man, the hits have been rolling in!

Since this Pepe Fuck Bunny video has turned out to be such a hit - I'll be producing more - stay tuned!

Fuck Like A Rabbit - The Tale of Pepe

2011-09-18T17:11:00.000-07:00

We have had such a fun weekend out in the woods - one horny slut craved the cock of a giant bunny, only to realize what "fuck like a bunny" really means.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Thank goodness for long, stiff vegetables!

Check it out and share!

Fuck Buddy Bunny

2011-08-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

So Sorry I have been so hard to pin down
but I've had some things on my mind.
Maybe you can help me with this.

HOT / NOT
Blow Job / Hand Job in Public
Real Boobs / Great Implants
Spray Tan / Tanning Bed
Captain America / Thor
Kristen Bell / Geoff Peterson
Olive Garden / Olivia Wilde
Tera Patrick / Jenna Jameson
Sasha / Melanie
CSI / Criminal Minds
Sid / Craig Ferguson
American Idol / So You Think You Can Dance
Katy Perry / Rick Perry
Foot Fetish / Panti Fetish
Smurfs / Harrison Ford
True Blood / Weeds
Sarah Palin / Michele Bachmann
Shaved Clean / Landing Strip
Giants / Dodgers
Barely Legal / Hot MILF
California / Texas
Maui / Kauai
Nigella Lawson / Giada De Laurentiis
Train / Plane
Harry Potter / Draco Malfoy
Sons of Anarchy / Breaking Bad
John Stewart / Bill O'Reilly
DDD / D
Keith Olbermann / Glenn Beck
Doggy Style / Reverse Cowgirl
Stephen Colbert / Sean Hannity
Hustler / Penthouse
Toe Ring / Nose Ring
Anderson Cooper / Bill Maher
Wilfred / Louie
Short Shorts / Short Skirt
Lady Gaga / Madonna
Bleachers / Behind Home Plate
Jeff Lewis / Zoila
Sex w/Stranger / Sex w/Neighbor

well just let me know what you think
Feel free to add your favorites

Spending my stimulus money on lingerie

2010-12-09T13:19:00.000-08:00

Why save in a dusty ol' bank account when you can put cash to really good use?
No I don't mean giving to a charity I mean spending it.
Why donate to some charity that already has its share when you can trade cash for the only kind of stimulus that really matters SEX!
Yes we should all do our part to help our economy rebound out of this funk.
Why not combine patriotism with passion [preferably the kinky kind].
Call your local Phone Sex operator and donate some cash/debit gift card for real stimulus. You can call me or my friends at:
415 621 6334 or visit House of Phone Sex.com

415 621 1187 or visit Fetish-Fone.com

P.S. Be Wilde!
P.P.S. Helping those who don't have as much as you is always the right thing to do.
xxxooo
Joan

Phone Sex Joan is now on Twitter

2010-09-15T15:12:00.000-07:00

I know this blog has been languishing - sorry sex fans! It's been a wild and crazy summer. Using Twitter will help me get my thoughts in order so I'll be able to blog on a more regular basis.

Join me on Twitter PhoneSexJoan

Kisses!!

Interested in becoming a Phone Sex Worker?

2010-04-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

Do you have what it takes to become a Fantasy Maker?

How would one go about working as a girl - or boy who answers phone-sex lines? Are you interested in working with www.houseofphonesex.com or www.fetish-fone.com?

Call Joan at 415-305-7500 to learn how to become a full or part time Fantasy Maker - especially if you are a young Pacific Rim Dominatrix!

My Interview with Esquire Magazine

2010-04-07T08:23:00.000-07:00

How would one go about working as a girl who answers phone-sex lines? Does it pay well? I think I'd be good at it.

I see you've taken an interest in the diminishing field of Telephonic Sexual Commerce. Congratulations. While every bit as gratifying as they make it out to be in high school, phone sex can also be very hard work. One must answer an ad in the back of a tabloid, but that's just the beginning. The 21st-century phone-sex operator is expected to blog, oh yes, and develop and maintain her own Websites, advertise, pay her own phone bills, take credit cards, build a clientele, and "troll," as it's called, for strange men in chat rooms. "It was some of the most meaningful work I ever did," says Miranda Austin, author of Phone Sex: Aural Thrills and Oral Skills, while reflecting on the job that at times earned her downwards of $2,000 a month. Lucky for you, there are still a few nontrolling companies, where you just sit there, the phone rings, you answer it, and if you can keep callers on the phone forever, you can earn upwards of $9 a day. For this job, says Joan, proprietor of the tenderly named houseofphonesex.com, "people without experience are probably the best." They are? Yes, she says, as long as they are blessed with "above-average intelligence, are creative, and can think on their feet." Ms. Austin concurs, "Because if somebody calls you and says, 'I have a foot fetish,' you kind of need to know what to do with that." Above all, however, phone sex is about lies. Callers don't want just empty moans--they do want those, but they also want someone "to have phone sex with them," she says, "and enjoy it with them." A tall order, but as I always say, as long as one is slow, horny, and dedicated, one cannot fail.

I was watching a TV show about a paraplegic man, and he mentioned having sex. How is that possible? He can't feel or move anything below his chest.

I saw that show. He didn't just mention it--he wouldn't shut up about it. But I understand. It's hard not to talk about spinal-cord-injury sex. Depending on his level of paralysis, and with the help of medication (both directly injected and Viagra-style), pumps, medical-issue vibrators, as well as all manner of harnesses, attachments, and, how shall I say, things anal, a paralyzed guy can achieve some sort of erection and have some sort of sex. Some say the best sort. "I can say that unequivocally the best lover I ever had was a man who had a spinal-cord injury--without a doubt," says Marcie Roth, the executive director and CEO of the National Spinal Cord Injury Association. The "insider secret" she's "almost reluctant" to reveal is that "most of our men have become extraordinarily talented with their oral skills." But unfortunately, it's not all good news. "There aren't gonna be any good men left," predicts Roth, " 'cause all the women are gonna want them now!" I'm getting two.

As a man, I enjoy both straight and lesbian pornography. But do straight women like gay porn?

It'll do, but, no, gay porn is not the preference among the straight women at my circle jerks. It's just we feel a little, well, shunned by gay porn is all. But if you look hard, in coastal areas and Germany, you may find a handful of women who eschew classic narratives and just want to see naked men. "In mainstream [straight] porn," explains Alicia Relles, DVD buyer for San Francisco's premier smut peddler Babeland, "you don't see any view of the guy but his cock," and women want to see more. "I definitely know that women like to see me in the movies because of the way I look," affirms gay porn star/mogul Michael Lucas, who claims to receive fan letters from straight women. Relles also finds gay porn to be the most useful teaching aid for technical study in her classes at Babeland University (Go Dolphins!), so perhaps its appeal is growing. Again, Lucas affirms: "That's what I know, because I get sent letters." And I believe him. They might be written on greasy paper bags and come from the state hospital, but take it from me, they still count.

Got a sex question of your own? Send it to us via esquire.com/talk.